Saturday 7 November 2015

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Kirsty’s lift in her charleston went wrong because she erroneously crossed her hands over; she doesn’t know why she did this, it’s the first time it’s ever happened.
- Kirsty has very fond memories of her salsa even though she recognises it wasn’t the most technically accomplished of dances.
- Brendan’s favourite was the doggy American smooth. Read into that what you will.
- Jeremy is scared of the way he feels when he’s next to a shirtless Gleb. Relax, Jezza, very few people are a perfect Kinsey 0.
- Katie thinks her make-up and hair for the weekend was definitely either Christine Daaé or King Charles II.
- Helen doesn’t think that mummies are Egyptian.
- 'The Strictly' has reached Kansas, God help us all.
- Zoe thought that Frankenpasha looked a bit like Simon Cowell.
- Natalie is going for a day out with Ainsley on Thursday.
- There are two Karen Cliftons - regular Karen, and balcony Karen. The latter has a tendency to get a bit overexcited.
- Karen had Claudia in a headlock at one point on Saturday.
- Karen would like to clarify that she has never seen Jeremy in the bath.
- Jeremy has one of the most gracious responses to people who say he can't win we've seen on this show in a while - that it's important to keep working hard and trying to improve. If only certain other komedy kontestants had taken this to heart...
- Katie and Anita's tangos were two of Jeremy's favourite dances this series.  Aww, TV presenter loyalty.
- Tristan has decided that he and Jamelia are “the best at being the worst”.
- Jamelia thought “Luckypoopoo” was Iveta’s real name.
- Joanne remains surprisingly good at Choreography Corner. (Natalie, god love her, did her best but she’s just far too positive about everyone and everything to be truly effective.)
- Anita needs to bring her shoulders in parallel with Gleb otherwise he'll feel like he's pushing a trolley with a wonky wheel.
- The annual 40s military pro dance is coming back this weekend for remembrance day how exciting.
- Oti is nervous about dancing with Kevin this weekend.
- Peter’s jokes are now so horrendous that even he looks embarrassed by them.
- Zoe didn't understand the story of Janette and Peter's Halloween dance.  She's not the only one.
- There is a creepy dummy in Peter and Janette's training room that they call Bob.  THAT would have made a better Halloween VT than pretty much any of the ones we had.
- The music chosen isn't just producers' choice; pros and head choreographer Jason Gilkison also get a say.
- If Tristan could add a new dance genre to the show, he wouldn't. Joanne might add tap, if she absolutely had to.
- The secret to getting the perfect charleston swivel is to pretend you're Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz clicking her heels together, if you're Joanne, or just to get hammered and then try to walk, if you're Tristan.
- Helen went out clubbing after Saturday’s show still with her big mummy hair.
- Aljaž thinks they can get 40 for their rumba, Helen does not.
- For their first date, Aljaž and Janette went to a restaurant on Malibu beach.
- Aljaž is so afraid of spiders that he kept running away from people with fake spiders on their costumes in Hallowe’en week.
- The rumba is the closest dance to ballet.
- The junior judges do a good impression of Pashastein and are split on whethere they think 2 was unfair.
- Meanwhile, they think Kevin and Kellie flew around like monkeys, but they didn't believe Brendan was really flying.
- Jamelia has not done ONE heel lead in training so far.  Ian is very tut-tut about it.
- There’s a bit in Anita & Gleb’s jive where Gleb leaps at her face, crotch-first. Anita, if you need an hour or so off and you want someone to stand in for you, you have my number.
- Karen has been unwell this week so Jeremy’s been teaching himself the routine.
- Jay has tiny ears.
- Aliona works on Jay 'right down to the pinkie'.  TMI.
- Jay is a total teacher's pet.
- Georgia whinges a lot and she’s always tired.
- There are a lot of women in Giovanni’s family.
- Georgia and Giovanni keep having to dodge the pillars in their training room.
- Vicky Gill’s favourite look of Hallowe’en was Helen as a mummy.
- Vicky Gill keeps getting Katie and Kellie mixed up.
- Sometimes the dresses change after the costume segment.
- Vicky Gill is planning to give Helen shorts and a crop top as part of her rumba outfit.
- Strictly has a stoning department. This is not where they send people who don’t agree that Lisa Snowdon is the best female dancer never to win, but rather the subdivision of wardrobe responsible for all of the sparkles on the dresses.
- Anton, Ian and Giovanni have been revolting against Craig to claim that there is no such thing as double-bounce action in the samba, and it’s actually just single-bounce.
- Katie loved having a gondola in their dance last week.
- Anton thinks last week was the first time he'd opened the show.  Even a very cursory glance at Ultimate Strictly tells me he is wrong.
- The random tango song choice generator has thrown up 'Go West' this week.
- Kellie loved having fireworks and explosions in her dance.  They only had a chance to rehearse with the table the day before - until then they'd rehearsed it on benches and one broke and she fell off.
- Kevin has always wanted to dress up as the Fresh Prince. OH GOD KEVIN NO.
- Kevin has chosen to interpret the lyrics of 'Love Ain't Here Anymore' to mean moving house rather than splitting up.
- Jeremy had been trying to do his news face for Tango but it wasn't working and he still hasn't found a suitable replacement.
- Karen has advised Jeremy not to watch other people’s training too closely.
- Vanessa Feltz considers herself a serious journalist.
-The Friday panel of Rufus Hound, Lisa Faulkner and Alexander Armstrong think Ainsley left too soon.
- Rufus Hound tells it like it is: 'if you're doing a Latin dance with Anton Du Beke, you're not entirely responsible for the outcome'.
- Joanne is going to sing live in the group dance on Sunday.
-Choreographer Neil is now the World Latin American Showdance champion.
- 'Passsh!  Ah-ah saviour of the universe' is this week's best name aston.
- Pasha thinks Carol will be able to get the difference between a heel and a toe in the next two weeks.
- Carol likes to sing in training.  She also has a T-shirt emblazoned with 'Wild Thing'.
 Pasha will kneecap you if you criticise Carol. Yep, even you, Len.
- Fake tan smells of biscuits.
- Susanna Reid used to have the quadruple-dip of tan back in series 11.
- Aljaž doesn’t tan when he’s not on the show and has no idea what burnished mahogany is.
- Zoe thinks 'a 10 from Len' is somehow meaningful.
- Gleb and Anita are playing cleaners in their jive.  Hurrah for no theme week.
- Gleb is very strict in the training room (COMMENCE FANFIC) but he does reward Anita occasionally by letting her have some water, or letting her go out and get him a coffee.
- Anita’s abiding memory of the Viennese waltz is the Gleb Special.
- Robin Windsor's alphabet is still a thing despite all of our prayers.
- Lisa Faulkner would quite like a go at the samba.
- Rufus Hound thinks Jay is exquisite since he had a hair cut.
- Alexander Armstrong thinks Jeremy will leave; Lisa Faulkner hopes it won't be Jamelia; Rufus thinks she will go though.
- Alexander Armstrong sings.

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