Saturday 7 October 2017

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Chizzy cried for quite a long time after the results show, but she's feeling a bit more positive about it now.
- It's Chizzy's birthday on Saturday and she's quite gutted she won't get to dance on live telly on her birthday.
- Nadiya Hussain has invited Chizzy and Pasha round for tea and cake.
- Chizzy would've liked to do It for movie week, she had the red balloon ready and everything.
- Chizzy is still struggling to pronounce "chassé".
- Still no sign of Hot Greg The Floor Manager.
- Simon was sobbing all day on Saturday because 'You'll Never Walk Alone' always does that to him.
- Karen reckons she ended Simon's waltz in the exact position she was meant to be in. Having gone back and rewatched, I remain unconvinced.
- Simon and Karen are going to be Buzz Lightyear and Jessie from Toy Story for movie week.
- Simon is not a massively serious human being.
- Tim Lovejoy bought Simon flowers because he wanted to make sure that Simon had the biggest bouquet of anyone.
- Joanne reckons Alexandra did the best paso a female celebrity has ever done on the show.
- In ballroom hold, the woman's face should be looking over her left wrist.
- Joanne disagrees with Craig and thinks you can do an aloof charleston actually thank you.
- Jonnie's dad has been a Strictly fan for years.
- Jonnie apparently didn't check to see if his flies were zipped before going on live telly.
- Jonnie and Oti are doing an Indiana Jones-themed paso on Saturday.
- Oti doesn't think she's met her match in Jonnie.
- Brian learned he could moonwalk when he was trying to scrape dog poo off his shoe.
- Brian keeps telling everyone Amy is a world champion even though she is only (only!) the British one.
- Brian would rather have been Buzz Lightyear than the Scarecrow.
- Amy makes Brian do a forfeit every time he does "a naughty arm". If only Lilia had thought to try that with Dominic Littlewood.
- Ruth has already started slipping and calling Anton "Eamonn".
- Ruth thinks she looked like Sharon from EastEnders with her waltz hair.
- Anton promises that his and Ruth's rumba will be intense if not sexy.
- Ruth thinks she looks like she's sucking a sherbet lemon when she tries to pout.
- Joanne claims the reason there's sometimes a lot of faffing about at the start of dances is because the music needs to really kick in. Mmm-hmm.
- Joanne thinks you can never have too much attack in tango.
- To get into doing a Charleston swivel, you should start doing the Dorothy 'there's no place like home' footwork.
- Joanne thinks Brendan should have taken the pot stir out of Chalotte's cha cha cha.
- You're only allowed 3 lifts in a salsa, but Janette got round it by not putting her feet on the floor when she was flinging herself around Aston.
- Mollie's shoulders are, like, totally, wild.
- Mollie and AJ are dancing a Sound of Music number, but neither will be dressing as nuns.
- On the subject of nuns, anyone else wish we had a Sister Act themed dance?
- AJ is making Mollie practice doing everything gracefully, right up to drinking her morning coffee.
- Even AJ can grow facial hair faster than Kevin.
- Giovanni felt there was 'something there' with Debbie from day one.
- This week in training Debbie has been The Glamorous Debbie McGee.
- Debbie's training room outfits continue to amaze, with pink legwarmers joining the line up.
- I say ‘tomato’, Giovanni says ‘pomodoro’.
- Charlotte and Brendan did a lot of practice in anticipation of the dance-off.
- Brendan thinks Shirley should keep her opinions to herself. I don’t know what he thinks a “judge” is for.
- Brendan is a bit pissed off they made Saturday's VT all about the pot stir going wrong.
- Unsurprisingly, Brendan is very excited about having a Top Gun themed routine.
- Baz Luhrmann tweeted Charlotte this week.
- Davood is channeling a swan for this week’s routine.
- Ian shouldn’t quite the day job to become a singer.
- Ian isn't happy with Aston's feet
- Ian’s favourite film as a child was Flash Gordon, and also he fancied Flash.
- Joe doesn’t know why he pushed Katya away at one point during his tango. Answers on a postcard.
- Ed Balls has been to visit Joe and Katya in training, hey guys do you remember when Ed Balls was on Strictly

- Katya has taught Joe how to say “good morning” in Russian and Katya is working on her Scottish accent.
- Dianne loves Richard’s timing - even if he does the wrong step, he at least does it at the right time.
- The first time Richard did his paso face, Dianne laughed for over two minutes.
- The show is attempting to officially  brand Janette as a 'latin sensation' but we will never be able to hear that without mentally adding 'or whatever she is' thanks to Ian last week.
- Janette is aware of the irony of choreographing such a fast and frantic salsa to ‘Despacito’, which means “slowly”.
- Aston’s mum was in the audience on Saturday but had her eyes closed throughout his salsa.
- Janette thinks that she and Aston are like cartoon characters in the training room. Wait, who said “Rick and Morty”, that’s not fair.
- Gemma thought she was fit until she tried to dance the charleston.
- Debbie’s dress for this Saturday will have about 5000 stones by the time it’s finished.
- It’s official - dancing a paso with Gorka is as good as singing with Beyoncé. Alexandra should know, and she confirmed it.
- Alexandra and Gorka accidentally headbutted each other during their paso dress run.

- Gorka has seen Alexandra’s puppies, but just the once. We of course all saw Gorka’s puppies during that paso.
- Gethin is not related to Catherine Zeta Jones.
- The Strictly group dance rehearsals are the happiest place on earth. Except for that time when Ola made up that story about Karen calling her a clapped-out old whore or whatever it was.
- There will be a lindy-hop-quickstep-paso pro dance to Aladdin-Little Mermaid-Beauty and the Beast this weekend.
- Aljaž told Gemma to be a character, rather than herself, in the waltz.
- Gemma's outfit for Saturday is really itchy and she can't go to the toilet while wearing it.
- Gemma has been wearing a tail in rehearsal.
- Komedy Aljaž has apparently been unleashed going on his appearance on Friday.
- Gemma has a regular slot every week on her radio show called "až Wednesday" when Aljaž comes in.
- Aljaž has been learning about Mancunian dress and phrases.
- Aljaž is very slow at picking up visual gags.
- Janette and Anton's favourite movie dancers are Syd Charisse and Fred Astaire, and Syd Charisse complimented him on his dancing on his dancing once, which was the best compliment he ever had.
- Amy and Giovanni are Grease fans, with Amy loving 'Born to Hand Jive' in particular. If only it hadn't been done last year, eh?
- Karen Clifton loves the barn dancing in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,  Kevin loves Strictly Ballroom.
 - AJ, meanwhile is a big fan of the all time classic Step Up 2: The Streets
- LA PRENJ was part of Kevin and Aljaž's auditions and I feel this is a showbiz story we must know more about please.
- Rufus Hound thinks Strictly has become a proper national institution this year entirely due to Len being replaced by Shirley. It's such a shame that Rufus Hound has become a national liability this year.
- He is also team Debbie.
- Despite being a reality TV legend, LA PRENJ pretends she hates the term 'journey'. She still uses it though. Before week three.
- Simon Webbe remains as charismatic and conversational as ever.
- He also thinks he was on this show last year.
- The Friday panel have been laughing at Simon's training footage which looks like a trainwreck.
- Simon (Webbe) thinks Aston needs to 'let the Caribbean go and feel the Latin feel'. Uh-huh.
- Simon's memories of the rumba? 'It was very stiff... very hard.'
- Joe thinks Batman can fly.
- Simon Rimmer can't pronounce Hermione.
- Katya can't remember the name of Maria in the Sound of Music and thinks 'Kellie Bright' rather than Princess Leia when thinking of Star Wars.
- Susan thinks there is no such thing as too much fun on Strictly Come Dancing. She clearly doesn't remember Russell Grant.
- Susan hasn't watched her dances because she never watches herself on TV.
- Kevin thinks performance is more important than swivel in Charleston.
- Because Susan is playing Wonder Woman in her samba this week, Kevin has taught her how to lead.
- Mollie finds the American Smooth confusing.
- Debbie wears pink legwarmers in training <3.
- Davood channeled his inner Kevin to play a geek.
- Nadiya reckons their illegal lift was really a 'catch'.
- Zoe wonders if Davood is worried about living up to John Travolta in his Saturday Night Fever samba.  I'm more worried about reliving Abbey Clancy's SNF 'salsa' TBH.
- Davood won't be doing any samba rolls on Saturday.
- Davood has been having nightmares about swans.
- Pasha, Gorka and Brendan are all Singing in the Rain fans
- Aljaž's favourite dance from a film is Al Pacino dancing in Scent of a Woman.  You guys, Aljaž is weird this series.
- Also going off-piste are Dianne with Bring it On and Oti with You Got Served (which I've never heard of), whilst Nadiya and Katya like Flashdance and Sweet Charity respectively.
- Rufus Hound finds it hilarious that Gemma will be in a catsuit 'for the dads' but Aljaž will be in a big bear costume to annoy the mums.
- But Aljaž will be playing Aladdin this week and we all know what that means.
- It's quite hard to jazz up 'Climb Ev'ry Mountain' unless you bring crampons and ropes.
- Zoe has the vinyl of Kenny Loggins' 'Danger Zone' on her record player at home.
- Doing Top Gun was Brendan's idea colour me shocked.
- Chloe loves movie week.
- Neil would like some popcorn this week. If you were sitting through 14 dances and none of them involving you, you would really.
- Pasha now has to sit at the losers' table with Neil and Chloe.
- Gethin really wants to know where Gorka lives. Presumably so he can stand outside his bedroom window in the middle of the night holding up a boombox, trying to tempt him back from that hussy Gemma.
- Simon Webbe has a new single out, how exciting.

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