Saturday 16 December 2017

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Mollie and AJ are considering choreographing a showdance anyway, to show their families at Christmas.
- AJ thinks the 4 for Mollie's samba was unfair, and she didn't deserve anything less than a seven.
- Mollie is contemplating taking the "Pivot Queen" nickname on board permanently.
- Debbie had a hairpiece pinned in during rehearsals that flew out halfway through her jive.
- Darcey absolutely would've worn Bruno's speedos if Alexandra hadn't made the final, and might even wear them anyway.
- Darcey thinks that Craig's reluctance to give 10s means that she doesn't beat him enough.
- Craig thinks 10s have to come late in the day.
- The wrap party is going to have crowns everywhere.
- Darcey and Shirley do 'boomerangs' before the show on Saturday.
- Shirley's biggest pet peeve is when the pros don't give you a chance to finish what you're saying, BRENDAN.
- Darcey thinks at least one pro is a skiver but won't reveal who.
- Paul Daniels used to sleep for four hours a night.
- Giovanni isn't happy that they're the only couple that get the 10-second rule thrown at them.
- Debbie and Giovanni both agreed on what their personal favourite dance would be straight away.
- The judges have picked the salsa for Debbie and Giovanni to reprise.
- Joanne thinks Alexandra needs to focus on hooking her right rib to Gorka's.  Sounds painful.
- Joanne would like you to know she doesn't know what Gorka's morning breath smells like, honest.
- Joanne doesn't think Debbie and Giovanni's foxtrot should've been docked a point for spending too long out of hold, and she also thinks Debbie has the best ballroom hold she's seen on the show.
- Joanne's dance teacher used to put a handbag between her legs to get her used to how they should be positioned for ballroom.
- The secret to good tango posture is to imagine a rod going through your bra.
- The show has bought Aljaž a custom name aston to hang round his neck.
- Gemma thinks she did the rumba as well as she could have done, but it was weird doing it with Aljaž.
- Apparently the two words you need to say to get Gemma in a sexy mood are "Tom Hardy".
- Gemma's got the paso for her judges' choice dance in the final.  Not going to lie, whilst it was a good dance, I'm somewhat disappointed it's not Debbie or Alexandra reprising theirs (unless either of them choose it for couples' pick).
- The showdance is the first one Gemma's actually liked the choreography for, and it will combine their 'best bits', which is a little scary going on what some of the concepts of their dances have involved...
- Debbie and Giovanni will be showdancing to 'Someday I'll Fly Away', Gemma and Aljaž to 'Show Me How You Burlesque' from Burlesque (!), Alexandra and Gorka to 'There's No Business Like Showbusiness' and Joe and Katya to 'You Make My Dreams Come True'.
- Chris Hollins used to keep his glitterball trophy in the toilet, but now he's moved it into his study to keep it away from his two-year-old.
- Tom Chambers is still really fucking annoying.
- Ore thinks Joe is a unicorn.  Wasn't Debbie one on Saturday as well?  So unique, so special.
- Ore had a little word with everyone backstage at the weekend and told them all to just enjoy it.
- Debbie is Tom's favourite.
- Chris thinks Debbie will win because he doesn't want to be the oldest Strictly champion any more (even though when Joe wins, he'll be the new oldest champion), Tom also thinks Debbie will win but thinks it's anybody's game, and Ore thinks it's all still open.
- Ian's cross because he wanted to use 'Show Me How You Burlesque' for his tour but Gemma and Aljaž got there first.
- Ian has emotional shoulders.
- Giovanni, Janette and Dianne all think Dianne is the messiest of all the pros, while Oti, Amy, Chloe, Neil and Karen think it's Oti.
- Asked who was the most childish of all the pros, Anton, Aljaž, Pasha, Nadiya and Karen all said Brendan, while Janette and Dianne went for AJ, and AJ, Katya, Chloe, Amy and Giovanni went for Neil.
- Alexandra's X Factor fam (well, Joe McElderry and Caroline Flack anyway) are wishing her luck.
- Alexandra reckons the semi-final was the first show all series where she'd felt relaxed.
- Gorka is upset he won't get to see Darcey in Bruno's Speedos.
- Alexandra has now broken the record for the number of dances to score 39 in one series, having scored it for five different routines. Rachel also scored 39 five times, but two of those were for her rumba.
- Shirley is always offering to make people cups of tea.
- Claudia has tried Shirley's tips for improving her posture but isn't good about it.
- The contestants are always shaking with nerves when they go over to Tess.  She likes to think this is about the dancing and the judges rather than fear of the claw.
- Claudia loves a crashmat.
- Claudia gets very nervous before the show, and sometimes grabs Tess's arm a little too tightly.
- If Claudia and Tess did a showdance, Claudia would be the man.
- Alexandra's showdance may involve some sort of costume change mid-routine.
- Janette can do a good mannequin impression, if they're looking for another movie week inspiration.
- Joe was worried his American smooth may be Scottish and lumpy.
- That lift at the end of Joe's Argentine tango went wrong 90 per cent of the time in rehearsals.
- Joe and Katya's showdance will be "Christmassy".
- Joe hasn't yet finalised his moustache plans for the reprisal of his Viennese waltz.
- Bonnie Langford is now stanning for Debbie McGee. Davood who?
- Louise Redknapp can't really remember much about last year's final. That's probably for the best.
- Zoe sometimes finds herself doing the samba in the bathroom.
- Merry Christmas in Slovenian is "vesel božič".
- Gemma told her mum she wanted to be partnered with Aljaž way back when they did the group dance training in Roehampton.
- They had a stand-in for Brian in rehearsals because he was busy.
- JONNIE HAS CUT HIS HAIR.
- Chizzy hasn't kept up dancing.
- Debbie was a girlie girl when she was little.
- The glamorous woman sitting with Babs McGee on Saturday was indeed Debbie's sister, Donna.
- Debbie has a nephew who's a bit like AJ.  With better hair.
- Giovanni thinks it doesn't matter if Debbie doesn't win because the important thing is the JOURNEY.
- Susan still hasn't got that "I Love Grimsby" tattoo on her foot because she's doing the tour, but she's booked it in for March.
- Ruth Langsford thinks the showdances are the best bit of Strictly.  She is wrong.
- The final Friday panel is Rufus Hound, Tom Allen and Ian Waite. Eeesh.
- Tom is alarmingly obsessed with Debbie.
- Rufus wants everyone to win, Tom wants Debbie to win, and Ian wasn't allowed to say who he wants to win because he works for the show.
- Joe is forever going to have Katya's voice in his head saying "if you're doing to do something, do it right". That's going to be quite offputting during sex, I imagine.
- Mollie has been too scared to talk to judges in the corridors all series.
- Alexandra has got some props in her showdance.
- Alexandra wants to smile the whole way through the final.
- Everyone, including Zoe, cried through the last show.

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